Skip to main content
Last Updated on: December 19, 2023

For stay-at-home moms, surrogacy offers the allure of additional income, which can contribute significantly to your household’s financial stability. It also provides the flexibility to spend more time at home with your children. The benefits of surrogacy, coupled with the profound experience of giving others the ability to parent, create a unique and rewarding situation. However, if you’re considering surrogacy, it’s important to be aware of the additional responsibilities and adjustments that come with this journey, which can impact both your personal well-being and family dynamics. 

This article delves into six essential considerations for stay-at-home moms who are considering surrogacy, ensuring an informed and thoughtful decision-making process.

1. Navigating Child Care Needs

As a stay-at-home mom considering surrogacy, you likely already have an established care routine for your children. Whether you’re the sole caretaker or have another parent helping out at home, the additional demands of surrogacy may require you to seek extra support during this time. For example, frequent trips to the in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic and other recurring medical appointments mean finding someone to care for your kids during your absence.

While the intended parents should be responsible for covering child care costs as per your surrogacy contract, the responsibility of choosing a suitable childcare provider lies with you. 

Consider making arrangements with your support network, such as family or friends, for a less costly (if any at all) option. No matter which route you decide to take, having to rely on external child care might be new for you and will require thoughtful consideration to ensure your children’s needs and your surrogacy commitments are met harmoniously.

A surrogate mom in a cozy home setting, smiling as her daughter tenderly touches her belly.

2. Planning for Travel

As a surrogate, you can expect frequent travel for key medical appointments, meetings with intended parents and any legal proceedings. As a stay-at-home mom, evaluating the feasibility of this travel, including its frequency and duration, is vital. Planning ahead for these trips — including arranging care for your children and household responsibilities — ensures a smoother journey throughout the surrogacy process.

In addition to the local prenatal appointments, surrogacy involves traveling for medical screenings and the embryo transfer process. Since fertility clinics are often located far from a surrogate’s hometown, you may need to plan for overnight stays or days away when coordinating with your family’s schedule. For example, arranging care for your kids and managing household duties when you’re out of town for a two-day screening or attending monthly prenatal visits after a successful transfer.

Open communication with your spouse and anyone providing childcare ensures all bases are covered when you must be away for surrogate-related affairs. By preparing early for any surrogacy-related travels, you can maintain stability and care for your family even during the trips covered by your compensation package.

3. Managing Your Finances

Surrogacy is a lucrative job for stay-at-home moms looking for additional income. However, the financial aspects of surrogacy extend far beyond the compensation itself. Thoughtful planning around these funds is crucial — from budgeting for expenses to replacing potential lost income from other work. While surrogacy can provide a significant income stream, integrating this strategically alongside your household’s financial landscape requires forethought.

It’s essential to budget for extra household help or support you may need during time-intensive surrogacy periods. For example, planning for home cleaning services during prescribed bed rest or child care assistance during frequent medical travel. Additionally, seeking expert guidance around allocating your compensation wisely is worthwhile. This may involve funneling a portion into education funds for your children, an emergency savings account or retirement investments. With some upfront financial mapping, you can ensure surrogacy aligns with and bolsters your family’s economic stability both now and in the future.

A surrogate mother in a kitchen, showing her young daughter how to load a dishwasher.

4. Juggling Your Daily Responsibilities

You likely have an established routine for household tasks, parenting and family life. Taking on surrogacy requires careful balancing of pregnancy-related tasks with existing household and parenting duties. As the due date draws closer, these compounding surrogate commitments, on top of regular daily work, can become more overwhelming.

Communicating needs and building your support system during intensive stretches is vital. For example, make arrangements to help you with chores like cooking and cleaning, especially in later trimesters. Or ensure you set up a reasonable schedule with your spouse to tag-team obligations when you require more rest.

Accepting assistance to maintain harmony between your surrogacy responsibilities and existing family life is key. You can juggle these dual roles smoothly with some priority balancing and delegating where suitable.

5. Preparing for Possible Bed Rest

Surrogacy can further complicate daily responsibilities if you’re prescribed bed rest for a high-risk pregnancy. Being proactive by arranging contingency support plans is crucial to minimizing disruption. This might involve calling on family and friends or hiring help to cover tasks like chores, kids’ school runs or after-school activities in your absence. By mapping out bedrest scenarios ahead of time, you can focus wholly on your health and pregnancy success without household stress.

It’s also essential to communicate potential bed rest needs with your spouse, children and support network in advance. This allows them to realistically prepare for stepping in if called upon. Create a comfortable nesting space in your home focused solely on your well-being and the healthy progress of the surrogacy.

6. Discussing Your Family’s Feelings

Bringing surrogacy into your role as a stay-at-home mom requires open conversations with immediate family who will be impacted. While you alone carry the pregnancy, changes affect the whole household. It’s important to have initial discussions with your spouse (if applicable) and children around this significant decision. Explaining the surrogacy path and listening to their thoughts helps build mutual understanding. Gaining their support and cooperation from the start ensures a strong support system as you progress through subsequent steps.

Remember, this journey ushers in adjustments for all — from accommodating your appointments to adjusting to a new family dynamic and much more.. While you drive this profound choice as a stay-at-home mom, respecting how it may alter family dynamics is critical. With compassion and counsel as a unit, you can embark on the road ahead mindfully — together.

A pregnant stay-at-home surrogate mom relaxing on the couch, reading a book with her two sons snuggled up beside her.

Get Support as a Stay-at-Home Mom Surrogate With Joy of Life

Embarking on surrogacy as a stay-at-home mom interweaves personal goals with considerations for family life. This journey can enrich all involved by thoughtfully balancing each aspect with care.

At Joy of Life, we are committed to prioritizing your family’s well-being. Our coordinators will attend those milestone appointments with you so that when you talk to your doctor, we can help watch your kiddos. Also, we can arrange at-home monitoring for our surrogate mothers (who live in California) if they have to travel far to the clinic. That way, you don’t have to worry about childcare situations.

Visit our page to discover how we can assist in making your dreams of becoming a surrogate a reality!

Joy Millan

Author Joy Millan

I’m Joy, the founder and CEO of Joy of Life. With a professional background as a fertility clinician, I’ve spent thousands of hours working with surrogates and intended parents alike. As a mother of two, I often wished for more support and a deeper commitment to care for those embarking on non-traditional family-building journeys. This is why I established Joy of Life: to create a more robust, compassionate experience in parenthood for both parties involved with surrogacy. In 2021, I stepped back from daily operations at Joy of Life to fight cancer. Fortunately, the combined 20 years of experience from our incredible team has allowed me to focus on my health & recovery. I continue to provide company guidance and serve as the head liaison for our network of doctors, clinicians and caregivers.

More posts by Joy Millan