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Last Updated on 10/2/23

It’s common for surrogate mothers and their partners to wonder whether it’s safe to have sex while pregnant.

Sex is a healthy expression within the context of a loving and caring relationship. And, in most instances, sex during pregnancy is safe.

But there are still a few things every surrogate mother should be aware of.

Is It Safe To Have Sex During Pregnancy?

Assuming your pregnancy is healthy, sex is okay. Be sure to find safe and comfortable positions.

Many people wonder whether sex will hurt the baby, but the truth is that the amniotic fluid in the uterus will protect the unborn child from any harm.

If you’ve experienced any complications in pregnancy, now or in the past, then you may want to avoid sex during pregnancy.

Additionally, if you’ve noticed heavy bleeding, painful cramps, or leaking amniotic fluid after sex, you should go to the emergency room straight away.

So, for the surrogate mother or the women after embryo transfer during IVF, Joy of Life® suggests they consult their doctors before having sex. It is very important to follow the instructions from the doctors. In addition, if the agreement between surrogate mothers and intended parent contain certain rules relevant to the intercourse behavior, the surrogate mothers should follow the agreement as well.

How Can I Protect Myself From Sexually Transmitted Infections?

You are at risk for sexually transmitted infections if you aren’t in a mutually monogamous relationship where your partner doesn’t have any STDs.

So, unless you’re in a mutually monogamous relationship with a completely sexually healthy partner, if you’d like to protect yourself from future complications, you should either abstain from sex during pregnancy or be sure to use protection during sex.

Which Are the Best Sexual Positions When I’m Pregnant?

Here are several sexual positions worth trying while you are pregnant:

  • The V. This position allows your partner to keep weight off your belly.
  • Woman on top. In this position, the woman has more control over the depth of penetration.
  • Take a seat. Having sex in a chair is a good way to ensure there’s little discomfort.
  • Two-spoon tango. This position allows for shallow penetration.
  • Missionary. Use a pillow under your back. Ensure your partner doesn’t place weight on your belly.
  • On the edge. Move to the edge of the bed. If you’re in your second trimester, use a pillow under your hips.
  • Doggy style. Support yourself with your knees and elbows. Use a pillow to support your tummy if necessary.

Regardless of the position, comfort and communication with your partner are key. If you’re feeling any discomfort, let them know. If you’re not finding sex enjoyable, consider other activities.

Are There Times When Sex Should Be Avoided?

Sex is best avoided if you’re experiencing unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge or cramps, leaking amniotic fluid, cervical incompetence, placenta previa, if you have a history of preterm labor or premature birth, or if you’re expecting multiple babies.

If your doctor says, “no sex,” listen!! It’s best then to abstain from intercourse, arousal, and orgasm.

Stay Safe During Sex

As a surrogate mother, be sure to stay safe during sex. If you have any questions, you can contact a Joy of Life® representative for help. As a surrogacy agency in California, we have ample experience to help surrogate mothers experience a better journey through pregnancy.

*The information on this page was written or reviewed for accuracy by Joy Millan, Founder and CEO of Joy of Life Surrogacy. Learn more about Joy and the team!

Joy Millan

Author Joy Millan

I’m Joy, the founder and CEO of Joy of Life. With a professional background as a fertility clinician, I’ve spent thousands of hours working with surrogates and intended parents alike. As a mother of two, I often wished for more support and a deeper commitment to care for those embarking on non-traditional family-building journeys. This is why I established Joy of Life: to create a more robust, compassionate experience in parenthood for both parties involved with surrogacy. In 2021, I stepped back from daily operations at Joy of Life to fight cancer. Fortunately, the combined 20 years of experience from our incredible team has allowed me to focus on my health & recovery. I continue to provide company guidance and serve as the head liaison for our network of doctors, clinicians and caregivers.

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