Surrogacy is a true gift, but the journey doesn’t end at childbirth. Recovering from pregnancy and delivery is a process that affects surrogates physically, emotionally and psychologically. Whether this is your first surrogacy journey or you’ve walked this path before, it’s crucial to remember that recovery varies from one person to another and one pregnancy to another.

While most discussions about postpartum recovery focus on mothers returning to their newborns, we understand that as a surrogate, your experience is unique. You are managing the aftermath of pregnancy and birth while transitioning back to your everyday life without a baby. This period can evoke a mix of emotions and physical challenges, and it’s perfectly normal to need time to process these feelings.

At Joy of Life, we’re here to support you as you heal at your own pace and seek the support you deserve. With our guidance, you can embrace this healing time with confidence, knowing you have a team that understands your needs and is committed to your well-being.

1. Recognize and Prioritize Your Postpartum Recovery

Recovery from surrogacy involves more than just physical healing; it’s also about taking care of your emotional and mental well-being. As you shift back to your everyday life, it’s important to take your recovery seriously.

Here are some clear steps to help you effectively manage your recovery:

Schedule Adequate Recovery Time: Plan for a minimum recovery period of six weeks. Adjust this time based on your overall health, the nature of your delivery and any complications that may arise.
Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to what your body is telling you. If you need more time to heal, take it. Avoid rushing back into your normal routine or work obligations.
Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries around household responsibilities. Delegate tasks such as cooking, cleaning and looking after children to friends, family or your partner.
Create a Support Plan: Organize a support system that can help you manage day-to-day tasks, allowing you to focus solely on your recovery.
Manage Your Physical Health Actively: Follow medical advice for managing post-delivery pain and other physical symptoms. This might include prescribed medications, physical therapy or specific exercises recommended by health professionals.
Prioritize Your Emotional Well-Being: Acknowledge and address the emotional impacts of surrogacy. Allow time for quiet reflection and consider engaging with mental health professionals if feelings of anxiety or depression arise.
Communicate Openly: Keep open lines of communication with your caregivers and support network. Be clear about how they can best support you during this sensitive time.

2. Embrace and Care for Your Body as It Adjusts Post-Delivery

A person applying a cream to their lower abdomen, focusing on a surgical scar representative of postoperative care and healing after childbirth.

After childbirth, your body will undergo numerous changes and adjustments. Embracing and caring for your body during this time is essential for your recovery. Here’s how you can support yourself during postpartum healing:

Pain Management: Pain and discomfort are common after delivery. Manage these symptoms with pain relief methods recommended by your healthcare provider, including prescribed medication, over-the-counter pain relievers or natural remedies such as heat packs and relaxation techniques.
Abdomen: Your abdomen may feel softer and look different as the muscles have stretched. It is suggested by some healthcare professionals to begin light abdominal exercises as they can help strengthen these muscles gradually.
Vagina: It’s common to experience swelling, soreness or stitches after a vaginal delivery. Maintain cleanliness, use cold packs to reduce swelling and sit on a cushion to relieve pressure. If discomfort persists, consult your healthcare provider for advice.
C-Section Recovery: If your delivery was via Cesarean section (C-section), keep your incision clean and dry. Avoid strenuous activity that could stress the incision site, and follow your doctor’s guidance on activity levels and wound care closely.
Breasts: Whether you are pumping breast milk or not, your breasts may undergo changes like engorgement and sensitivity. Wear a supportive bra and use cold compresses to relieve discomfort from engorgement.
Urine: You may experience postpartum urinary issues such as incontinence or a burning sensation during urination. Increase fluid intake, practice pelvic floor exercises and use a soothing peri-bottle during and after urination to help alleviate these symptoms.
Digestion: Constipation is a common issue post-childbirth due to hormonal changes and physical stress. Enhance your digestive health with a high-fiber diet, plenty of fluids and, if recommended, stool softeners.

3. Make Postpartum Follow-Up Appointments a Priority

Ensuring a healthy recovery after surrogacy involves more than just rest and home care; it also means staying proactive about your medical follow-ups. Regular postpartum appointments help monitor your recovery and manage any complications that may arise. Here’s why these appointments should be a top priority:

Early Detection of Complications: Postpartum appointments allow your healthcare provider to detect and address common issues such as infections, excessive bleeding or problems related to C-section incisions before they become more serious.
Assessment of Physical Recovery: Your doctor will check your physical recovery, including the healing of any episiotomies or incisions and the return of your uterus to its pre-pregnancy state. This is also a time to discuss any lingering pain or discomfort and receive professional advice on managing these symptoms.
Emotional and Psychological Support: The postpartum period can be emotionally challenging. These appointments are an opportunity to discuss your feelings and any symptoms of postpartum depression or anxiety. Your healthcare provider can offer resources or referrals to mental health professionals if needed.
Guidance on Postpartum Care: During these visits, you can get valuable advice on how to care for yourself, including nutrition, exercise and rest, all tailored to your specific recovery needs.
Answering Your Questions: This is your time to ask questions and express any concerns about your recovery. Whether it’s about resuming certain activities or general health inquiries, your provider is there to support you.

4. Seek Support From Mental Health Professionals During Recovery

A tender moment within a support group setting, where one person is embracing another in a heartfelt hug while the rest of the group observes, some clapping in a gesture of support and community.

The emotional and psychological recovery for surrogates after childbirth can be as significant as the physical recovery. As a surrogate, you’ve experienced a unique journey that does not end at delivery. It’s essential to address any emotional challenges that arise during the postpartum period. Here’s why and how you should seek support from mental health professionals:

Acknowledging Emotional Challenges: Surrogacy can come with complex emotions, from fulfillment and pride to emptiness and sadness after parting with the baby. These feelings are natural, yet they require understanding and management, which a mental health professional can provide.
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: Just like any new mother, surrogates can experience postpartum depression or anxiety. Symptoms may include prolonged sadness, loss of interest in usual activities, feelings of worthlessness or excessive worry. Recognizing these signs early and seeking help is crucial for your well-being.
Professional Guidance and Support: Mental health professionals specialize in helping people navigate their feelings. They can offer strategies to cope with emotional stress and suggest therapeutic techniques that promote mental wellness.
Creating a Supportive Environment: Engaging with a therapist can also help you communicate your needs to those around you, creating a supportive environment for your recovery. This can include family counseling or support groups where you can connect with others who understand your experience.
Long-Term Emotional Health: Seeking mental health support is not just about overcoming immediate challenges but also about ensuring your long-term emotional health and resilience. It’s an investment in your future well-being, allowing you to return to your daily life feeling stronger and more grounded.

If you notice any signs of emotional distress, do not hesitate to reach out for professional help. Consult your healthcare provider for referrals to psychologists, psychiatrists or counselors who have experience dealing with postpartum issues, especially in surrogates. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and an important part of your recovery.

5. Encourage Your Loved Ones to Play a Supportive Role in Your Recovery

The postpartum period is a time when the support of your loved ones can be immensely beneficial. Here’s how you can encourage your loved ones to actively participate in your recovery process:

Communicate Openly and Often: Start by expressing your needs clearly. Your family and friends may want to help but might not know how best to support you. Be open about what would be most beneficial, whether it’s help with household chores, time to rest or simply someone to talk to.
Assign Specific Tasks: It can be helpful to assign specific tasks to different people. This might include having someone responsible for grocery shopping, another for helping with children and someone else who can be there just to listen when you need emotional support.
Tell Your Story: Share your birth story with your family. Talk about the labor, the baby and the parents’ reaction. You did something amazing, and your story is a beautiful one that deserves to be shared.
Encourage Presence, Not Just Assistance: Beyond just helping with practical tasks, ask your loved ones to simply be present. Having someone nearby to share in the quiet moments can be just as powerful as active help.
Create a Support Schedule: To avoid overwhelming any single person and to ensure you have continuous support, consider creating a schedule. This can help organize who is available and when, making it easier for your support network to manage their time and efforts effectively.
Seek Professional Family Counseling if Needed: If navigating postpartum emotions becomes challenging for you or your family, professional family counseling can be beneficial. It can help address any dynamics or tensions that arise and ensure everyone feels supported through this transition.

By fostering a supportive environment, you not only aid your own recovery but also strengthen the bonds with those around you. Encourage your loved ones to be part of your healing journey, reminding them that their role is invaluable in helping you navigate the postpartum period effectively.

Ready To Become a Joy of Life Surrogate?

Two people smiling joyfully, holding an ultrasound image showcasing a fetus. The focus is on the ultrasound held in their hands.

At Joy of Life®, our team understands the surrogacy journey intimately — both as professionals and personally. Many of us are former surrogate mothers and intended parents, giving us a firsthand understanding of the unique challenges and immense rewards that surrogacy entails.

If you’re ready to embark on this life-changing experience or simply want more information, we’re here to support you every step of the way. Contact us today to begin your surrogacy journey.