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When it comes to surrogacy, there can be a lot of misconceptions about becoming an intended parent. Joy of Life® is here to bust these myths and put your mind at ease.

1. You Shouldn’t Use a Surrogate You Don’t Personally Know

Sometimes, intended parents already know the surrogate mother. They could be a friend, sister, or cousin for example, but this doesn’t mean using someone else is unsafe. 

At an agency like Joy of Life®, the surrogacy process starts by matching you with a surrogate mother through an in-depth selection process to find a woman who is healthy, trustworthy, and honest. This is an exciting part of the process, getting to know the carrier of your child. In many cases, intended parents often form a lifelong bond with the surrogate mother. 

Thorough medical and psychological examinations take place before a woman is considered a potential surrogate mother. 

2. You Will Have Control Over the Surrogate’s Body

The intended parents will never have control over the surrogate mother’s body. Before the surrogacy process begins, both intended parents and the surrogate will meet with the agency to discuss the expectations and challenges that may surface in the pregnancy.

This communication makes the agreement clear from the beginning, so there is an understanding between both parties. The primary goal is for a healthy pregnancy for the baby and the surrogate. The surrogate mother will have complete control over her own body the whole time. 

3. You Will Have Trouble Bonding With the Baby

Many intended parents’ biggest worry is that they won’t bond with the baby after being carried by a surrogate for nine months. This misconception is understandable but completely untrue. 

As soon as the baby is born, they will be given straight to the intended parents, where the bonding will begin. While the baby may grow in the surrogate’s womb, the true bonding doesn’t begin until they have been brought into the world and into the loving arms of their intended family. 

4.  The Surrogate Mother Will Try To Take the Child Away From Me

This is often another concern for intended parents, but this too is a myth. The psychological examinations that take place before the surrogacy journey even begins, is an extensive evaluation that ensures the woman is psychologically stable enough to be a surrogate. 

Surrogate mothers often report that surrogacy feels like ‘babysitting,’ and a completely different experience from their own pregnancy. Surrogates choose surrogacy because they want to bring joy to a family. Surrogate mothers do not have parent or legal parentage rights of the baby, which is made clear at the start of the process.  

Final Thoughts

The surrogacy journey is a beautiful experience for intended parents and surrogate mothers. These are just some misconceptions of becoming an intended parent, but if you’d like further advice, speak to Joy of Life® today.

Joy of Life

Author Joy of Life

I’m Joy, the founder and CEO of Joy of Life. With a professional background as a fertility clinician, I’ve spent thousands of hours working with surrogates and intended parents alike. As a mother of two, I often wished for more support and a deeper commitment to care for those embarking on non-traditional family-building journeys. This is why I established Joy of Life: to create a more robust, compassionate experience in parenthood for both parties involved with surrogacy. In 2021, I stepped back from daily operations at Joy of Life to fight cancer. Fortunately, the combined 20 years of experience from our incredible team has allowed me to focus on my health & recovery. I continue to provide company guidance and serve as the head liaison for our network of doctors, clinicians and caregivers.

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