How Do I Know if Surrogacy Is Right for Me?

Committing to surrogacy is a big decision. It is common for women who want to become a surrogate to question whether they are making the right choice, especially if this is their first time. It is a question that only you can answer. Working with experienced surrogacy professionals like the ones at Joy of Life® can help you gain more information to help answer this and any other questions you may have. Here are some questions to consider if you are thinking about surrogacy that can help you make an informed decision.

What is Required for Surrogacy?

If you are considering surrogacy, it is essential to understand what the process includes. Legal obligations and safety regulations associated with surrogacy vary from state to state. Whether you work with a legal representative or a surrogacy clinic, it is necessary to review the requirements to see if you qualify. A surrogate may be required to be in a specific age range, have experience giving birth, be financially stable, have a good health history, and be a legal US citizen. The rules help reduce surrogacy’s emotional and physical risks and ensure your safety.

How Will My Family Feel About It?

Have you discussed the possibility with people who care about you, including family and friends? A surrogate devotes a lot of time and energy to the process that can affect others. If you have a family already, including a spouse and children, they may wonder how things may change if you decide to be a surrogate. Sometimes family members and other people who care about you may share your concerns and understand how this decision can impact your lifestyle. Are they willing to support you on this journey, and if not, will you be okay with their choice?

What are the Risks?

Being a surrogate has many things to look forward to, but sometimes a woman may be too focused on the positives to consider potential risks. While you can prevent some and reduce others, it is essential to review risks and challenges to understand what could happen. Have you thought about them?

Some experience medical complications related to IVF, pregnancy, or childbirth. Others experience emotional difficulties after the baby is born. Potential surrogates may be required to complete a psychological and medical evaluation screening to ensure they’re prepared for surrogacy.

Do I Understand What I Am Committing To?

Surrogacy requires a significant level of commitment. Is the commitment practical for you? You devote time, energy, and emotions to helping someone become a parent. It can take anywhere from a year or so to complete the journey. Think about how you need to organize your life and responsibilities around surrogacy. Are you okay with attending numerous doctor appointments before and during pregnancy?

If you’re employed, what impact will your employer feel when you need to take time off? What’s the plan if you experience complications and require bed rest? Are you willing to have a respectful relationship with the intended parents? Can you handle the challenges that come with being pregnant?

Am I Doing This for the Right Reasons?

What are your reasons for wanting to become a surrogate? When questioning if this is something you should do, it should be for the right reasons. Being motivated to do it is great, but you want to ensure that motivation stays with you throughout the journey to ensure a successful outcome. One of the most common questions potential surrogates have is, ‘How much do surrogates make?’ Being compensated and achieving your personal financial goals is a great advantage, but it shouldn’t be the only reason for making this decision.

Consider the value of carrying a child for someone else and the significance of bringing a child into the world. If the driving force of your decision is financial, it may not be enough when you are feeling challenged or exhausted. Discuss your feelings about the process with a surrogacy clinician to get advice before signing up.

Assessing Pros and Cons of Surrogacy

If you’re thinking about surrogacy, you’re likely familiar with the pros and cons. These different factors can help you understand the process better and ultimately lead you to making a final decision. Learning the pros and cons may lead to asking questions including:

• Is it the right time in my life to become a surrogate?
• Will I have the support I need from people in my life?
• Will I be comfortable explaining to others why I made this decision?
• Am I willing to endure the psychological and medical screening required for the process?
• Am I willing to do what is needed for IVF treatment?
• Can I emotionally accept carrying a baby for someone else?

What are the pros of surrogacy? How much do surrogates make? Financial compensation is one benefit women enjoy when they choose surrogacy. It depends on agreement terms, but a woman may plan to achieve personal goals such as buying a house, paying for college, or providing for their family. A financial agreement for surrogates may also include an allowance that covers medical and legal expenses.

Bringing a child into the world for someone is a significant act of kindness to experience. It is life-changing for people who never thought they could have a child, such as an infertile couple or an LGBTQIA+ couple. A woman choosing surrogacy can take pride in their choice as they are one of very few that choose to do something like this. In some cases, surrogates also become part of a close-knit community of others because of their choice to become a surrogate. A surrogacy service like Joy of Life® can put you in touch with resources that can enrich your experience before, during and after.

What are the cons of surrogacy? The process and journey have challenges that make it not suitable for everyone. It requires commitment because parts of the process take time to complete, including the legal process, IVF treatments, and pregnancy. Your lifestyle changes, so you may not be able to do things you did before the surrogacy.

To ensure you are ready to be a surrogate, psychological and medical evaluations are necessary. It includes meeting with a social worker, psychologist, and physician. Some women enjoy the pregnancy process, but others don’t. Some realize it is not as easy as they thought to carry a child for someone else when they are unwilling to accept the challenges of being pregnant.

Dealing with emotional challenges can be tricky. Some surrogates feel more emotionally connected to the intended parents throughout the pregnancy. It can be challenging emotionally to carry a baby, knowing it is not yours to keep. Many are willing to accept this and feel what they are doing is a gift to the intended parents.

Understanding the pros and cons may help determine if surrogacy is right for you. People close to you, such as family and friends, can help with your decision. Also, consider connecting with former surrogates through local and online surrogate support groups and meetings to learn about the experiences of others and to ask questions. Additional resources may be available through the surrogacy clinic or surrogacy service provider you are considering for the process.