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Embarking on the surrogacy path is a beautiful and unique adventure, filled with shared steps that unite every story. We understand this experience can seem daunting at times, especially for surrogates and aspiring fathers.

This new dad’s guide to bringing home a surrogate child is tailored for new fathers, including those in same-sex couples and single fathers embracing surrogacy to expand their families.

Are you ready for a baby checklist?

In this article, we’ll walk you through the following:

  • Preparing for your new arrival
  • Understanding your legal rights
  • Building strong bonds through communication
  • Nurturing a father’s emotional well-being during surrogacy

Preparing for Your New Arrival

Embarking on the journey of parenthood is an exciting time filled with anticipation and preparation. As you await the arrival of your new baby, there are several key steps to ensure your home is ready and welcoming.

1. Baby-Proofing Your Home

Your home should be a safe sanctuary for your new baby. Start with securing furniture, covering electrical outlets and ensuring all baby-accessible areas are hazard-free.

2. Setting Up the Nursery

Create a warm, inviting nursery. Consider a comfortable crib, soothing colors, and essential supplies to ensure a peaceful environment for your baby.

3. Logistics for a Stress-Free Arrival

Prepare for the hospital, find out hospital policies and even take a hospital tour of the labor and delivery wing. Stock up on baby essentials and plan your route for the big day. Ensure everything is in place for a stress-free arrival of your baby.

Understanding Your Legal Rights

It is of the utmost importance to have dependable legal counsel and a dedicated agency for support. Your lawyer will be responsible for drafting and submitting all the required legal documents to the court and will provide guidance on the surrogacy laws specific to the state where your surrogate will give birth.

1. Surrogacy Contract

A surrogacy contract varies based on the specific needs of the surrogate and intended parents, reflecting their unique circumstances. The drafting process starts after a successful surrogate match, requiring several weeks for drafting, negotiation, and review by all parties and their attorneys.

2. Legal Framework

The contract should define the legal rights and obligations of all parties under applicable state laws and specify the jurisdiction for legal actions, providing a clear legal structure for any disputes.

3. Medical Consent and Procedures

It’s essential for the contract to include agreed terms on critical medical decisions, including embryo transfer specifics and consent on sensitive medical issues, ensuring mutual understanding of the medical process.

4. Financial Agreement

The surrogacy contract must outline financial details, including surrogate compensation and insurance responsibilities, and clearly define the legal parentage establishment process for the intended parents.

Building Strong Bonds Through Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a strong relationship, especially for new fathers during the journey of surrogacy. Honest dialogue with your partner, family, and surrogate can deepen connections and foster a supportive environment for your new arrival.

1. Connecting With Your Partner and Family

If you’re in a partnership, strengthen your relationship by openly discussing the expectations, fears and joys of surrogacy. Share this journey with your friends or family as well to deepen your bonds.

2. A Healthy Relationship With Your Surrogate

Develop a healthy, mutual relationship with your surrogate. Communicate effectively, respect boundaries and understand how everyone plays a supportive role. Our team celebrates all types of families, single fathers and same-sex alike. We believe what defines family is the love and support that is shared. It is our mission to love and support the families we are privileged to be your village.

3. Navigating Communication With Medical Professionals

Establish clear and consistent communication with the medical team involved in your surrogacy journey. This ensures you’re well-informed about the pregnancy progress, medical needs, and the overall well-being of the surrogate and baby.

Nurturing a Father’s Emotional Well-Being During Surrogacy

As a new or expecting dad, caring for your emotional health is just as important as preparing for your baby’s arrival. Whether you’re navigating this path alone, with a female partner, or as part of a same-sex couple, prioritizing your mental health is crucial.

1. Embracing the Surrogacy Journey

Accept and embrace the emotional aspects of surrogacy. There will be highs and lows; you will feel overwhelmed , frustrated and nervous. But you will also feel pride, affirmed,  and love like you have never known. The path to fatherhood is unique and filled with joys and challenges, whether you are a single parent or have a spouse through the process.

2. Bonding With Your Baby

Bonding with your newborn is a personal journey that varies from father to father. It’s important to recognize that this process may take time and can develop gradually. For some fathers, the connection is immediate; for others, it gradually strengthens through daily care and interaction with the baby.

3. How to Foster a Bond With Your Baby

Engage in skin-to-skin contact as often as possible. This physical closeness can stimulate bonding hormones and foster a sense of security in your baby. Regularly hold your baby close to familiarize them with your scent and voice. Speaking softly, singing lullabies or reading to your baby can help strengthen your bond.

4. The Importance of Emotional Support

In addition to a possible partner, family, friends and your agency, consider expanding your village by joining father-focused support groups, practicing mindfulness or meditation to ease stress and scheduling regular check-ins with a therapist or counselor.

5. Building Your Confidence as a New Dad

Embrace your new role as a father with both confidence and assurance. With time, you will understand your baby’s cues, master essential caregiving skills and establish a nurturing routine to create a meaningful connection with your baby, and remember there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We do our best and we love with all we have.

A joyful father and child laughing together while playing with wooden blocks and toy buildings on a table.

Supporting New Dads Every Step of the Way

Whether you are a single man or a same-sex couple who needs guidance on how to find a surrogate, our team at Joy of Life is here to provide personalized support to help you become a parent. We will guide you throughout your entire journey and beyond. We prioritize creating a warm environment where everyone feels valued, respected and supported.

Partner with Joy of Life for Worry-Free Surrogacy

The surrogacy journey can be wonderful, and we’re confident yours will be with us. Here at Joy of Life, our experienced team will guide you through every aspect of the process with compassion and care. Our team members include people with experience being surrogates or intended parents themselves, as well as experts in surrogacy’s clinical, psychological and legal aspects. We’ll coordinate every detail from start to finish because empowering you on your journey to parenthood is what we do best.

Apply today to become a surrogate with Joy of Life.


Joy Millan

Author Joy Millan

I’m Joy, the founder and CEO of Joy of Life. With a professional background as a fertility clinician, I’ve spent thousands of hours working with surrogates and intended parents alike. As a mother of two, I often wished for more support and a deeper commitment to care for those embarking on non-traditional family-building journeys. This is why I established Joy of Life: to create a more robust, compassionate experience in parenthood for both parties involved with surrogacy. In 2021, I stepped back from daily operations at Joy of Life to fight cancer. Fortunately, the combined 20 years of experience from our incredible team has allowed me to focus on my health & recovery. I continue to provide company guidance and serve as the head liaison for our network of doctors, clinicians and caregivers.

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